Damn has this year been one to remember.
Highlights
-- Ended relo with the crazy ex
-- mates
-- freedom
-- single life..
-- my appearance in groove hills with TKB
-- my dancing
-- reloz.. yeah all u single ladies and fellowz know what i mean
-- and probably the most significant.. meeting the flip side crew and n[2]s jam sessions
cant ask for anymore
as for the emo rants, i obviously havent been blogging on this for awhile - naturally becoz i havent been fucked over some how by someone in some place
and you know?
it feels so damn good
peace out.
C
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Friday, 21 November 2008
n[2]s jam - Freestyle Vid, November 15th & 16th
Click on the title directly below to get linked to the freestyle video the boys did at the latest n[2]s jam session... PLEASE SUBSCRIBE !... its on youtube
"n[2]s Jam - November 15th & 16th, freestyle to Sunset"
Thanks to the following that came down and joined us for the whole night till sunrise... was an epic jam sesh!
Jimboi
Ralph Rabago (in spirit)
Mark Reyes
Denise Bataller
Lin Sou
Guest(s)? appearances lol
+ FRANK DARRIO PHILLIPS... he stayed for most of it anyway
+ some random white boy that thought he could rap.................
+ Darrios krumper friend all dressed up to go pumphouse but ended up jamming
+ to the "healthy" lady who decided to grind up on dee!
+ to the random fobs tryna get their shy tanky mate to join on in with the chory at 4 inda mornin
+ Zac.. podium dancer at pumphouse
+ Suk Hee who was meant to dance but ended up having a drinking session elsewhere in the city with his bottle of spirits in his pocket...
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
Chris Chiapoco - He Can't Love You
its just a short routine i came up with during first of many to come
"sat night 2sunrise jams"... comment us !
Shoutout to the boys mentioned in the credits here!
To everyone else we will be holding regular sat night to sunrise jams so stayed tuned
it'd be awesome if even more people came and joined us =]
.... trust me ;)
"sat night 2sunrise jams"... comment us !
Shoutout to the boys mentioned in the credits here!
To everyone else we will be holding regular sat night to sunrise jams so stayed tuned
it'd be awesome if even more people came and joined us =]
.... trust me ;)
Monday, 20 October 2008
Everyone just groove wit it'
Hey everyone, been awhile so i thought id share something witchu all. Dance quotes that i carry around with me everywhere on my mobile. Hope these quotes inspire more to dance, motivate those who already are, and get everyone on this party bus of dance.
"Dancers are among the most passionate and dedicated of artists and rarely take their work for granted."
"You can't make a pointe if you don't understand the details."
"Why do I dance?.....Why do I breathe?" ~anonymous
"I don't have an attitude, I'm just REALLY good!" ~Dance Caravan
"If you say you can you can, but if you say you can't your right!" ~anonymous
"You know you're dancing when tears of pain and happiness blend in with your sweat" ~anonymous
"We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams."
"Dancers are an admirable bunch of people. The way they work. The stress is extraordinary. It's a difficult career. I think it's hellish; the fact that they are over the hill as they're emotionally maturing. That calls for a terrific strength of character." ~Lady D. MacMillan
Japanese proverb: Dance Quotes
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.
I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine
Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is not mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself. ~Havelock Ellis
They who love dancing too much seem to have more brains in their feet than in their head. ~Terence
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain. ~Author Unknown
Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. ~Author Unknown
Dance, an Art Form
The Body, an Instrument
Learn To Play The Instrument
So You Can Master The Art Form.
--Attributed to Debbie Dee.
Dance, one of the oldest forms of artistic expression, requires only the human body for its realization. *Igor Youskevitch*
One is born to be a dancer. No teacher can work miracles, nor will years of training make a good dancer of an untalented pupil. One may be able to acquire a certain technical facility, but no one can ever 'acquire an exceptional talent.' I have never prided myself on having an unusually gifted pupil.
Beginning dancer. Knows nothing.
2. Intermediate dancer. Knows everything. Too good to dance with beginners.
3. Hotshot dancer. Too good to dance with anyone.
4. Advanced dancer. Dances everything. Especially with beginners. *unknown*
Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order.
--Samuel Beckett
I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.
--Mihkail Baryshnikov
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.
--e. e. cummings
Nothing is more revealing than movement.
--Martha Graham
"Dancers are among the most passionate and dedicated of artists and rarely take their work for granted."
"You can't make a pointe if you don't understand the details."
"Why do I dance?.....Why do I breathe?" ~anonymous
"I don't have an attitude, I'm just REALLY good!" ~Dance Caravan
"If you say you can you can, but if you say you can't your right!" ~anonymous
"You know you're dancing when tears of pain and happiness blend in with your sweat" ~anonymous
"We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams."
"Dancers are an admirable bunch of people. The way they work. The stress is extraordinary. It's a difficult career. I think it's hellish; the fact that they are over the hill as they're emotionally maturing. That calls for a terrific strength of character." ~Lady D. MacMillan
Japanese proverb: Dance Quotes
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.
I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine
Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is not mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself. ~Havelock Ellis
They who love dancing too much seem to have more brains in their feet than in their head. ~Terence
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain. ~Author Unknown
Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. ~Author Unknown
Dance, an Art Form
The Body, an Instrument
Learn To Play The Instrument
So You Can Master The Art Form.
--Attributed to Debbie Dee.
Dance, one of the oldest forms of artistic expression, requires only the human body for its realization. *Igor Youskevitch*
One is born to be a dancer. No teacher can work miracles, nor will years of training make a good dancer of an untalented pupil. One may be able to acquire a certain technical facility, but no one can ever 'acquire an exceptional talent.' I have never prided myself on having an unusually gifted pupil.
Beginning dancer. Knows nothing.
2. Intermediate dancer. Knows everything. Too good to dance with beginners.
3. Hotshot dancer. Too good to dance with anyone.
4. Advanced dancer. Dances everything. Especially with beginners. *unknown*
Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order.
--Samuel Beckett
I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.
--Mihkail Baryshnikov
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.
--e. e. cummings
Nothing is more revealing than movement.
--Martha Graham
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
happy HAPPY happy burrrrrdayyyy
Guess what people, 46mins at this point in time right now till i officially turn the great 2.1
even though it dont feel like it, ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! =D haha. wat a great life ive lived so far, so many stories, so many experiences ! so many great friends! ahhh its just so great! =D!
got myself a new gaming comp! (LOL!)... and going skydiving tmo at 9am!!! BOOYAAA
duno wat im doing for the rest of the day but dayum... if u got something u wana do HOLLA ATCHO BOI!!!! hehehehe
wat can i say... im good.. feeling good..
pretty soon its gona be my burrrrfff-day!
=D
follow the link and celebrate !!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4BfqmuG9XA&feature=related
peace out!.
C
even though it dont feel like it, ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! =D haha. wat a great life ive lived so far, so many stories, so many experiences ! so many great friends! ahhh its just so great! =D!
got myself a new gaming comp! (LOL!)... and going skydiving tmo at 9am!!! BOOYAAA
duno wat im doing for the rest of the day but dayum... if u got something u wana do HOLLA ATCHO BOI!!!! hehehehe
wat can i say... im good.. feeling good..
pretty soon its gona be my burrrrfff-day!
=D
follow the link and celebrate !!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4BfqmuG9XA&feature=related
peace out!.
C
Monday, 8 September 2008
Interesting Fact 1 - Pokemon
Just got told by JORDANA that my blog is real depressing and all lol.. funny girl its not like shes there to talk to me all that often ! OH WELL HAHA!.. nahhh luv ya! ;)
so anyhow ima take this time to take a break from all the emo crap thats come out of mind and intro to u to something alil more light hearted... i guess ill do this everynow and again
Interesting Fact 1 - Pokemon
... to those that know me theres no real point in explaining theyd already know what i have to say
.. to the rest... pokemon owns...lol serzly. loved this game back then i will STILL play this game if its presented infront of me
- My brother and i used to play this with those old school gameboy bricks.
- I finished this game countless times
- Red and Blue Version were and are the best version, so much crap out these days
- I got an emulator on PC and finished the game 4 times over..... IN ONE DAY.. blue version that is
- (Back in year 7) James Hayes brought his gameboy to year 7 camp, he had a lvl32 Gyarados...and he was only up to Vermillion City (and thats a VERY good thing to u clueless ones!)... along came Peter Dang took his gameboy and "released it into the wild" = "deleted".. lmao i sound like a nerd but thats something ill never forget.. it was HI-LAIR-REE-OUS
- My first Blastoise kicked multiple high level asses
- I played the red version, my bro the blue
- During my gameplay i upgraded my gameboy to the one that was "see-through"
- I memorised the "type" and "weaknesses" of every pokemon of the first 101 pokemon
- .... I also memorised wat level each pokemon evolved at....if ever.... neat u say? haha
- ......... I played so much that i basically memorised what "moves" EVERY pokemon learnt and exactly WHAT level!...... IMPRESSIVE now that i look back at it ! haha
- Even in 2008 i went to the snowy mountains, there were no fictures of it taken but laurens brought his nintendo ds with pokemon crystal or something on it..... i almost finished that game within the time we were at the snowies...! HAHAHA
.... Oh and my display picture is pikachu... u know the "Electric Mouse".. haha OWNED ! i almost feel sorry for it...
peace out!.
today was a good day....
C
Saturday, 30 August 2008
75
To all the ladies out there that come by my blog, this one's for you
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you,nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you trulyhappy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't 'be friends.' A friend wouldn'tmistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faithmake you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don't stay because you think 'it will get better.' You'llbe mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in awhole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
26. Don't fall for the 'I'm confused role' . Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse.If he causes any of them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.
31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.
44. Love is a verb ...
45. Learn to give up your life long task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.
50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...notsupplementary.
53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
55. Never become your man's 'therapist'.
56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.
58. Don't fall for the 'I'm not the loving type'...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure =him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.
61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63. Never move into his mother's house.
64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
65. Never co-sign for a man.
66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
69. When it's time to let go; let go.
70. Good men should be treated like good men.
71. Don't play games.
72. You can't make a %#&@$! into a housewife - or husband.
73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs,personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.
there u have it.. 75 point of food for thought
..oh and some highlighted bits for importance !
peace.
C
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you,nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you trulyhappy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't 'be friends.' A friend wouldn'tmistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faithmake you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don't stay because you think 'it will get better.' You'llbe mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in awhole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
26. Don't fall for the 'I'm confused role' . Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse.If he causes any of them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.
31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.
44. Love is a verb ...
45. Learn to give up your life long task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.
50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...notsupplementary.
53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
55. Never become your man's 'therapist'.
56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.
58. Don't fall for the 'I'm not the loving type'...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure =him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.
61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63. Never move into his mother's house.
64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
65. Never co-sign for a man.
66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
69. When it's time to let go; let go.
70. Good men should be treated like good men.
71. Don't play games.
72. You can't make a %#&@$! into a housewife - or husband.
73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs,personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.
there u have it.. 75 point of food for thought
..oh and some highlighted bits for importance !
peace.
C
Thursday, 28 August 2008
TO ALL OF YOU SH*TC*NTS WHO BACKSTAB
why the fuck can u put so much time and EFFORT into a fucken relationship and get SHIT ALL IN RETURN.. oh wait thats a masssiveeeee azz LIE WHY do people get screwed over after doing so much???
do none of u understand???
.... do none of u really give a shit about the worth of a mother fucking "FRIEND" these days!
to all u ass holes out there who claim to be friends WITH ME OR WHOEVER ELSE IT IS ! why the fuck would u claim all this shit and title only to turn around back backstab the hell out of everyone!
MOTHER FOCKING PEOPLE JUST DONT GET IT DO THEY????
here i have been growing up the last 20 years growing up to be the most humble most respectable most wateva the fuck else so i could be good to those around me.. WHAT THE FREAK HAS THAT EVER DONE FOR ME??
From wen i was born to the way i am now, i have had people backstab me for sooo many fucking reasons it just beats the crap outta me as to WHY I EVEN BOTHER LOOKING FOR THOSE SELECT FEW PEOPLE AROUND ME TO BE THE PEOPLE THEY ARE TO ME!!.. all you people who are apart of my past .. YOU ARE ALL FULL OF SO MUCH SHIT U FCUKEN BASTARDS! its not that i hate you, YOU ALL ARE FULL OF SHIT ! wateva the fuck did i ever do to any of u HUH?? SERSLY IF IM THAT NAIVE TO EVERYTHING TALK TO MY FACE AND TELL ME EXACTLY HOW IT IS U FUCKHEADS
im so sick and tired of all the shit happening again, closing up to what i was originally before seems like the proper path. RELY ON NO ONE BUT YOURSELF still stands strong within me, wait actually ITS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL STAND WITHIN me. FUCK FAMILY RELOZ, EVEN THOSE CUNTS BACKSTAB, LIE THEIR WAY THROUGH HELL TO GET THE SHIT THEY WANT
FUCK!
to BE APPRECIATED IS ALL THAT EVERYONE SHOULD EVER be asked for! NO expectations, NO games, NO fights, NO NAME CALLING, NO Low Calls! NO FUCKED UP MSGS OR REMINISCING OF THE PAST WHEN THE SITUATION DOESNT NEED IT.. U FUCKED BASTARDS WHY DO CONSTANTLY DO IT??
i have been disappointed so many fucking times so far, i duno why i even bother! PERSEVERANCE?? THATS FUCKING ME UP RIGHT NOW
IM ONLY LOOKING FOR THOSE THAT CAN APPRECIATE, IVE COME ACROSS A FEW LATELY AND THEY ARE GODLIKE TO ME
AS FOR THE REST, TO THE PAST AND INTO THE PAST YOU WILL STAY U MOFOS, CHANCES? WATEVA THE FUCK IS THAT NO ONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE IF THEY HAVE FUCKED U OVER .. fucked that TRUST YOU ONCE HAD
who the hell do i trust, this blog is the only place i feel 110% comfortable, people have their issues they dont need mine but im there to listen to them? HOW FUCKED IS THAT???? EVEN WEN IT COMES TO LISTENING ID RATHER HEAR THEM THEN TALK ABOUT EM??? WHERE THE JUSTICE IN THAT HUH? mofos dont know how to keep a GOOD MAN SANE!
wat to do wat to do huh I KNOW!!!!!! im gona hold back on giving ANY BREATHING THING THE POWER TO SHIT STIR ME THE WAY I AM RIGHT NOW
SO THE MUTHERFUCKING EX JUST THREATENED ME WITH A TEXT AMONGST THE GAZZILLION SHE HAD ALREADY????
THE FUCKING RETARD- "CAREFUL WIT HOW U TREAT ME COZ WEN MY BOYS READ UR MSGS THEY WILL LITERALLY GO TO UR HOUSE"
ME - "FUCK OFF"
THE FUCKING RETARD - "Lol you asked for it"
so now my question is
WHO WILL BACK ME IF SHIT DOES GO DOWN? haha U KNOW WAT I RECKON NO ONE FUCKING GIVES A RATS ASS coz all u shit cunts ONLY EVA COME TO ME WEN U WANT SHIT... THATS RIGHT WEN U ONLY WANT SHIT. u CALL ME A FRIEND? I CALL U A FUCKING USER !
NO ON WILL COME TO AID ME IF SHIT GOES DOWN
i really dont know who my real friends are
.... thats the most cutting thing ive come to realise in this blog
ouch...
C
do none of u understand???
.... do none of u really give a shit about the worth of a mother fucking "FRIEND" these days!
to all u ass holes out there who claim to be friends WITH ME OR WHOEVER ELSE IT IS ! why the fuck would u claim all this shit and title only to turn around back backstab the hell out of everyone!
MOTHER FOCKING PEOPLE JUST DONT GET IT DO THEY????
here i have been growing up the last 20 years growing up to be the most humble most respectable most wateva the fuck else so i could be good to those around me.. WHAT THE FREAK HAS THAT EVER DONE FOR ME??
From wen i was born to the way i am now, i have had people backstab me for sooo many fucking reasons it just beats the crap outta me as to WHY I EVEN BOTHER LOOKING FOR THOSE SELECT FEW PEOPLE AROUND ME TO BE THE PEOPLE THEY ARE TO ME!!.. all you people who are apart of my past .. YOU ARE ALL FULL OF SO MUCH SHIT U FCUKEN BASTARDS! its not that i hate you, YOU ALL ARE FULL OF SHIT ! wateva the fuck did i ever do to any of u HUH?? SERSLY IF IM THAT NAIVE TO EVERYTHING TALK TO MY FACE AND TELL ME EXACTLY HOW IT IS U FUCKHEADS
im so sick and tired of all the shit happening again, closing up to what i was originally before seems like the proper path. RELY ON NO ONE BUT YOURSELF still stands strong within me, wait actually ITS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL STAND WITHIN me. FUCK FAMILY RELOZ, EVEN THOSE CUNTS BACKSTAB, LIE THEIR WAY THROUGH HELL TO GET THE SHIT THEY WANT
FUCK!
to BE APPRECIATED IS ALL THAT EVERYONE SHOULD EVER be asked for! NO expectations, NO games, NO fights, NO NAME CALLING, NO Low Calls! NO FUCKED UP MSGS OR REMINISCING OF THE PAST WHEN THE SITUATION DOESNT NEED IT.. U FUCKED BASTARDS WHY DO CONSTANTLY DO IT??
i have been disappointed so many fucking times so far, i duno why i even bother! PERSEVERANCE?? THATS FUCKING ME UP RIGHT NOW
IM ONLY LOOKING FOR THOSE THAT CAN APPRECIATE, IVE COME ACROSS A FEW LATELY AND THEY ARE GODLIKE TO ME
AS FOR THE REST, TO THE PAST AND INTO THE PAST YOU WILL STAY U MOFOS, CHANCES? WATEVA THE FUCK IS THAT NO ONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE IF THEY HAVE FUCKED U OVER .. fucked that TRUST YOU ONCE HAD
who the hell do i trust, this blog is the only place i feel 110% comfortable, people have their issues they dont need mine but im there to listen to them? HOW FUCKED IS THAT???? EVEN WEN IT COMES TO LISTENING ID RATHER HEAR THEM THEN TALK ABOUT EM??? WHERE THE JUSTICE IN THAT HUH? mofos dont know how to keep a GOOD MAN SANE!
wat to do wat to do huh I KNOW!!!!!! im gona hold back on giving ANY BREATHING THING THE POWER TO SHIT STIR ME THE WAY I AM RIGHT NOW
SO THE MUTHERFUCKING EX JUST THREATENED ME WITH A TEXT AMONGST THE GAZZILLION SHE HAD ALREADY????
THE FUCKING RETARD- "CAREFUL WIT HOW U TREAT ME COZ WEN MY BOYS READ UR MSGS THEY WILL LITERALLY GO TO UR HOUSE"
ME - "FUCK OFF"
THE FUCKING RETARD - "Lol you asked for it"
so now my question is
WHO WILL BACK ME IF SHIT DOES GO DOWN? haha U KNOW WAT I RECKON NO ONE FUCKING GIVES A RATS ASS coz all u shit cunts ONLY EVA COME TO ME WEN U WANT SHIT... THATS RIGHT WEN U ONLY WANT SHIT. u CALL ME A FRIEND? I CALL U A FUCKING USER !
NO ON WILL COME TO AID ME IF SHIT GOES DOWN
i really dont know who my real friends are
.... thats the most cutting thing ive come to realise in this blog
ouch...
C
Friday, 1 August 2008
Make It Work Vs Crying Out For Me...
hmm.. its currently 1.54 inda morning... ive had better nights to be honest...
tnite was real disappointing... and not in the cliche sense everyone might think
Feelin of weakness
majorly disappointed in self with letting that barrier be brought down.. and have nothing come of it
just need this point in time to vent out all of the frustration and lack of self trust/dependency before the sun rises this mornin... after all no matter how awesome or great a person may be... they are at the end of the day just a person... like me... and just like a normal, people like that look forward to a new and hopefully more promising day. None of this crap will have its place wen i wake up in a few hours... fresh for a what would seem a hectic lifestyle for some... and shiet... my groin muscles hurt like hell.. something i should focus on recovering perhaps.. yep thatd get my mind off things
heres a scenario for olla you people that come across this blog of mine
ah fuck it. It actually involves someone close to me and i doubt they'd want me to have it up on this blog for the world to see... but i know how all those of you non-involved love controversy and danger so ill proceed to beat around the bush and give you some extra food for thought
for olla (by olla i mean "all of" think about it... it works) you ladies out there.. how many of you have had the shittiest experiences when it comes to guys ? and think about it in general.
> ever come across boys that lead you on only to leave you unexpectedly without any "real" reasons to bitter-sweetly-comfort your mind ?
> any of those boys ever just use and abuse your mind and body.. and on some occasions your soul ... because they could ?
> come across any that constantly just fuck around with your head because of their own insecurities and all that shit?
> ever been deeply cut up inside because they say things .. mean thinGs.. just to make you believe you are not worth anything more than what you already have ?
> ever been involved with a man that turned out to be a boy?
> sometimes coming across those most closest to you who don't exactly reciprocate your efforts and determination to make it work?..
i kinda lost the reason i started writing all of that just then so just try to make sense of it and relate it to whateva... hopefully... none of you girls relate to any of this ive said so far
for the sake of some structure and attempt to map out exactly whats doing my head in, im going to take a now tainted song i wanted to dance to for my 21st birthday and explain where i can - my opinion in relation to a girl that has a boyfriend whos there with Him for reasons that only our god knows.... the song again for all of you.. oh and btw read the lyrics and think about it before you read on because ill be relating all of my crap to the verse or chorus right above it.
Breaking up with someone to be with another person. sounds wrong hey?.... shoving a knife into a toaster to take a piece of toasted bread out is the same thing. my point if u havent gotten it already is that every situation that may appear to be a common happenin at front on value is almost always different once u get down to the nitty gritty details of motives and external influences. People break up and hookup with another for essentially the same reasons but the thought process, influences, values and beliefs almost always differ amongst people... never judge a book by its cover, if u have problems talk or ask it directly to them.... anyway... what happens when someone is in a relationship theyve dedicated themselves to... wateva the reasonS... but they fall for someone they know they could have something so much greater with... BUT they already have something thats been established over a period of time with the person they currently have... should they risk to pursue that potential for greatness they can see? or should they stick to making work what they already have? think about it like this, you buy urself a cheap new guitar, and u self teach uRself how to play it, from basics all the way to advanced you establish some sort of connection with it, in this guitar case it may of a nostalgic and sentimental one. One day you get given the choice to trade that very guitar into a shop in exchange for another one that looks better, is of great quality.... but u have no history with this... unlike ur old guitar... the new one you just recieved you have no history with, you have to start all over again from the very begin to establish that connection..... thas has a potential to be greater then ur previous just because you can do so much more with....taking into account whats more important to u is the connection u have with the guitar, do you exchange it or not ? something thatll help me explain this is by our friend mario with his song crying out for me. just like with make it work ill try and explain whats still going thru my mind with the aid of this awesome song but catch 22 song.
tnite was real disappointing... and not in the cliche sense everyone might think
Feelin of weakness
majorly disappointed in self with letting that barrier be brought down.. and have nothing come of it
just need this point in time to vent out all of the frustration and lack of self trust/dependency before the sun rises this mornin... after all no matter how awesome or great a person may be... they are at the end of the day just a person... like me... and just like a normal, people like that look forward to a new and hopefully more promising day. None of this crap will have its place wen i wake up in a few hours... fresh for a what would seem a hectic lifestyle for some... and shiet... my groin muscles hurt like hell.. something i should focus on recovering perhaps.. yep thatd get my mind off things
heres a scenario for olla you people that come across this blog of mine
ah fuck it. It actually involves someone close to me and i doubt they'd want me to have it up on this blog for the world to see... but i know how all those of you non-involved love controversy and danger so ill proceed to beat around the bush and give you some extra food for thought
for olla (by olla i mean "all of" think about it... it works) you ladies out there.. how many of you have had the shittiest experiences when it comes to guys ? and think about it in general.
> ever come across boys that lead you on only to leave you unexpectedly without any "real" reasons to bitter-sweetly-comfort your mind ?
> any of those boys ever just use and abuse your mind and body.. and on some occasions your soul ... because they could ?
> come across any that constantly just fuck around with your head because of their own insecurities and all that shit?
> ever been deeply cut up inside because they say things .. mean thinGs.. just to make you believe you are not worth anything more than what you already have ?
> ever been involved with a man that turned out to be a boy?
> sometimes coming across those most closest to you who don't exactly reciprocate your efforts and determination to make it work?..
i kinda lost the reason i started writing all of that just then so just try to make sense of it and relate it to whateva... hopefully... none of you girls relate to any of this ive said so far
for the sake of some structure and attempt to map out exactly whats doing my head in, im going to take a now tainted song i wanted to dance to for my 21st birthday and explain where i can - my opinion in relation to a girl that has a boyfriend whos there with Him for reasons that only our god knows.... the song again for all of you.. oh and btw read the lyrics and think about it before you read on because ill be relating all of my crap to the verse or chorus right above it.
Neyo - Make It Work
"You Understand Me
At Least You Say You Do
Lately Thats Enough For Me
Looking For Perfect
Surrounded By Artificial
Your The Closest Thing To Real I've Seen"
How many of you girls fall prey to a fella that knows how to say the right things? i sure as hell havent...haha (just laugh itll make me feel better)... worse yet, how many of you girls fall prey to a guy that doesnt say anything and keeps you pondering about your very relationship... your very foundation... damn man.. thats so shit, to have established something and believe you've built something over time only to be confused as to whether you really want or believe you want at the end of it all?... take note of that. theres a massive difference between the too... never ever settle for "thats enough for me" becoz there are others out there thatll completely eliminate those type of thoughts. and im not talking about just someone who eliminate those during ur honeymoon period, i mean eliminate that sort of thinking for real, enough for me goes to show you're scared of losing something even if that something never really made you truly happy in the first place. think about it. same old shit goes for thinking "you're the closest thing to real ive seen" ... when you start to "think" whether its the closest thing to real you've seen then hell yeah it aint real! real is the feeling you have for someone that you just simply connect from the get go until the end of your lives !... real simply isnt forcing urself to fall for someone or to stick to someone for whaT god only knows the reasons for !... fuck... im only one verse into this... aiya...
Im Sure Everyone Has Their Problems
Thats A Given
Yours Are The Easiest To Tolerate
This Wasnt What We Was Wanting
How We're Living
Lets Take This Good Enough And Turn It To Great
Baby Understand...
baby you gota understand... that you have to understand.
All relationships have their odd bumps throughout. Though when you start experiencing rollercoaster moments you have to take a step back, look at it, re analyse and think whether thats what you really want for urself... its fucked, its life.... Tolerating what life has to offer to survive and be happy is a toughie and needs to be experienced, but its the rash and detrimental choices you make during those moments that require toleration that'll determine if ull be happy with the way you have lived your life. partners are exactly that, partners. theyre the ones that will accompany you through this journey through life, assisting you with learning life lessons and complimenting you being a person. If you have to tolerate this person then thats fucked, think about it... why when you think about ur partner do you have to tolerate them? why not think... he/she and i are going to work out definitely what our issues are because i can see us together til the end?.. if you dont get me then just read this again and again until you do coz i cant be bothered explaining it, i have a whole song or two to write about. hmm last thought for this verse... lets take this good and turn it into great?. heres a piece of advice i will dispense For you people. When you see a potential for greatness with a person who you could see yourself with, latch onto it with mind body and soul, theyll look after you... you can make it work... even if you have a boyfriend at the current situation
This Can Only Be As Good As We Both Make It
Guess Sometimes Its Gonna Hurt
We Can Be As Happy As We Want To Be Girl
But We Gotta Make It Work
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
Sometimes I Love You
More Than You'll Ever Know
Other Times You Get On My Nerves
That's Just Reality
No, It Can't Always Be
Kisses, Hugs, And Beautiful Words
You Was Looking For Your Friends
What You Found
Is A Partner With Potential
And No, I Know I Ain't Perfect
But I'm Around
Girl Time And Patience Is Essential
Baby Realize...
Thick And Thin,
The Bad Outweighs The Good Sometimes
That Doesn't Mean We're 'spose To Give It Up
My Problems Are Yours,And Yours Are Mine
(...OK LADIES AND GENTS TAKE A 5 MIN BREATHER, THIS POST STILL HAS AWHILE TO GO ...)
At Least You Say You Do
Lately Thats Enough For Me
Looking For Perfect
Surrounded By Artificial
Your The Closest Thing To Real I've Seen"
How many of you girls fall prey to a fella that knows how to say the right things? i sure as hell havent...haha (just laugh itll make me feel better)... worse yet, how many of you girls fall prey to a guy that doesnt say anything and keeps you pondering about your very relationship... your very foundation... damn man.. thats so shit, to have established something and believe you've built something over time only to be confused as to whether you really want or believe you want at the end of it all?... take note of that. theres a massive difference between the too... never ever settle for "thats enough for me" becoz there are others out there thatll completely eliminate those type of thoughts. and im not talking about just someone who eliminate those during ur honeymoon period, i mean eliminate that sort of thinking for real, enough for me goes to show you're scared of losing something even if that something never really made you truly happy in the first place. think about it. same old shit goes for thinking "you're the closest thing to real ive seen" ... when you start to "think" whether its the closest thing to real you've seen then hell yeah it aint real! real is the feeling you have for someone that you just simply connect from the get go until the end of your lives !... real simply isnt forcing urself to fall for someone or to stick to someone for whaT god only knows the reasons for !... fuck... im only one verse into this... aiya...
Im Sure Everyone Has Their Problems
Thats A Given
Yours Are The Easiest To Tolerate
This Wasnt What We Was Wanting
How We're Living
Lets Take This Good Enough And Turn It To Great
Baby Understand...
baby you gota understand... that you have to understand.
All relationships have their odd bumps throughout. Though when you start experiencing rollercoaster moments you have to take a step back, look at it, re analyse and think whether thats what you really want for urself... its fucked, its life.... Tolerating what life has to offer to survive and be happy is a toughie and needs to be experienced, but its the rash and detrimental choices you make during those moments that require toleration that'll determine if ull be happy with the way you have lived your life. partners are exactly that, partners. theyre the ones that will accompany you through this journey through life, assisting you with learning life lessons and complimenting you being a person. If you have to tolerate this person then thats fucked, think about it... why when you think about ur partner do you have to tolerate them? why not think... he/she and i are going to work out definitely what our issues are because i can see us together til the end?.. if you dont get me then just read this again and again until you do coz i cant be bothered explaining it, i have a whole song or two to write about. hmm last thought for this verse... lets take this good and turn it into great?. heres a piece of advice i will dispense For you people. When you see a potential for greatness with a person who you could see yourself with, latch onto it with mind body and soul, theyll look after you... you can make it work... even if you have a boyfriend at the current situation
This Can Only Be As Good As We Both Make It
Guess Sometimes Its Gonna Hurt
We Can Be As Happy As We Want To Be Girl
But We Gotta Make It Work
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
We Gotta Make It Work...
Ay Oh Ay Oh Oh
we gotta make it work... WE gotta make it work.. our boi neyo words that perfectly or sings it ... there is no 'i' in team.. neither does 'i' exist in making relationships work, coz once u start doing all the work and the other gets complacent you have to put it to them, you have to confront them. Couples are permitted to be happy only as much as the combined effort of both equal, and when these two people connect on levels they usually dont with many others than that potential for happiness grows exponentially... and alOt of the time, to reach this achievable ideal
.... itll take some hurt
.... itll take some hurt
Sometimes I Love You
More Than You'll Ever Know
Other Times You Get On My Nerves
That's Just Reality
No, It Can't Always Be
Kisses, Hugs, And Beautiful Words
its all good and sweet when you know and believe you love the other person, yes sometimes they get on your nerves with the little trivial things... its reality and yes honeymoon periods full of kisses, hugs and beautiful words wont always exist forever... thats a relationship... now... to stir this image up think about this... you love the person you believe it, u wana believe it but you find someone else making a remarkable impact in your world from the outside with the least amount to no amount of effort at all.. who are these people you reckon? instead of the otheR getting onto your nerves you head into the extreme zone of questioning the very foundations and fundamentals of your relo. you start to consider how in fact, the integrity of your relo is completely shaken up... and if its by a third party, then they are probably a very special and controversial person... kisses, hugs and beautiful words dont matter in the long run, thas all physical and tangible (to a certain degree), at the end of the day the person making their impact in you world without trying is the one thatll make you weak at the knees and whilst taking your breath away. and for those of you underestimating my train of thought. i am certainly not talking about that cliche situation where say... a random fan of brad pitt meets brad pitt, im talking about a situation where two extremely close friends have gotten to know and admire each other as the people they are whilst sharing a spark between them the whole entire time from the moment they met ... like i said at the start of this post, this blog isnt so cliche as many would think of it to be, so givus some credit u havent already
You Was Looking For Your Friends
What You Found
Is A Partner With Potential
what the hell can i say for this, you look for a friend and instead come across someone who poses that potential greatness in terms of partnership with you. potential for something great.
"fuck controversy".. yet again...
"when you see a potential for this, chase pursue and fight! and cut out all of the other crap"
one of the greatest things ive learnt in recent times about myself and what will decide what actions i should carry out is simple...... deciding whether or not something is worth fighting for. unfortunately when that something is in the form of a hUman, it gets tricky coz you will BOTH have to want to fight for each other no matter how easy or difficult the situation is... whether its worth it. worth enough to be fought for. id deeply admire those type of people who realise and fight for something so i shall take it upon myself for future reference.
"fuck controversy".. yet again...
"when you see a potential for this, chase pursue and fight! and cut out all of the other crap"
one of the greatest things ive learnt in recent times about myself and what will decide what actions i should carry out is simple...... deciding whether or not something is worth fighting for. unfortunately when that something is in the form of a hUman, it gets tricky coz you will BOTH have to want to fight for each other no matter how easy or difficult the situation is... whether its worth it. worth enough to be fought for. id deeply admire those type of people who realise and fight for something so i shall take it upon myself for future reference.
And No, I Know I Ain't Perfect
But I'm Around
Girl Time And Patience Is Essential
Baby Realize...
Thick And Thin,
The Bad Outweighs The Good Sometimes
That Doesn't Mean We're 'spose To Give It Up
My Problems Are Yours,And Yours Are Mine
for any problem that ever surfaces in a relo between two people the above few lines when used and meant could mean a perfect relo in terms of being always able to work through issues..... whats not perfect is... when you dont believe the other gives a shit about what theyve done, or worse yet, who doesnt show enough care to naturally realise there is something wrong in the first place, it takes two to tango, takes two to realise and solve. when one needs reminding or confronting then i wish all of you people luck if you decide to stick with em coz i believe thats a start of a permanent crack in the relo that can only be magnified in due course... but hey hey?!?!?! guesS what!!!!!!!
... i would really like to be proven wrong
... i would really like to be proven wrong
(...OK LADIES AND GENTS TAKE A 5 MIN BREATHER, THIS POST STILL HAS AWHILE TO GO ...)
continuing......
countless minds believe that good guys always come last. im one of those individual minds... and thank goodness ive got my own to form my own opinions and analytical thinking with.. we have too many sheep in this world.. nehow im digressing from the point.
with the first half of this post i talked about a couple tryna make it work. that song by neyo talks about problems a couple of people might be having, worries that need to be solved and how the guy within the story of lyrics believed that they could "make it work".. its a sweet song, got some funky tunes to back it up, but that song barely scraps the surface of the potential problems and on goings that happen behind the scenes. Different situations, different people, different potentials, values and beliefs, thats where i absolutely magnified a whole bunch of very likely things that people will most commonly go through in reloz, you can almost call this post "Food For Thought Part 2".. if u havent read my other post than forget it, u wont get wat i just said..
with the first half of this post i talked about a couple tryna make it work. that song by neyo talks about problems a couple of people might be having, worries that need to be solved and how the guy within the story of lyrics believed that they could "make it work".. its a sweet song, got some funky tunes to back it up, but that song barely scraps the surface of the potential problems and on goings that happen behind the scenes. Different situations, different people, different potentials, values and beliefs, thats where i absolutely magnified a whole bunch of very likely things that people will most commonly go through in reloz, you can almost call this post "Food For Thought Part 2".. if u havent read my other post than forget it, u wont get wat i just said..
Breaking up with someone to be with another person. sounds wrong hey?.... shoving a knife into a toaster to take a piece of toasted bread out is the same thing. my point if u havent gotten it already is that every situation that may appear to be a common happenin at front on value is almost always different once u get down to the nitty gritty details of motives and external influences. People break up and hookup with another for essentially the same reasons but the thought process, influences, values and beliefs almost always differ amongst people... never judge a book by its cover, if u have problems talk or ask it directly to them.... anyway... what happens when someone is in a relationship theyve dedicated themselves to... wateva the reasonS... but they fall for someone they know they could have something so much greater with... BUT they already have something thats been established over a period of time with the person they currently have... should they risk to pursue that potential for greatness they can see? or should they stick to making work what they already have? think about it like this, you buy urself a cheap new guitar, and u self teach uRself how to play it, from basics all the way to advanced you establish some sort of connection with it, in this guitar case it may of a nostalgic and sentimental one. One day you get given the choice to trade that very guitar into a shop in exchange for another one that looks better, is of great quality.... but u have no history with this... unlike ur old guitar... the new one you just recieved you have no history with, you have to start all over again from the very begin to establish that connection..... thas has a potential to be greater then ur previous just because you can do so much more with....taking into account whats more important to u is the connection u have with the guitar, do you exchange it or not ? something thatll help me explain this is by our friend mario with his song crying out for me. just like with make it work ill try and explain whats still going thru my mind with the aid of this awesome song but catch 22 song.
Mario - Crying Out For Me
It's like you caught up in a maze
You keep on going in circles girl you're trying to find your way out
But its time I put on my cape and
Put that s on my chest
Girl I wanna come and save you
But I'm stick in the middle of seeing you hurt
I know when you love him
And you wanna make it up
And I can't help but think that I known you first
It's getting louder
Can't ignore any longer
.......................................................... i feel helpless for those that do not want to be helped, even if they do wana be helped they are too selfless to act upon it for themselves, these people deserve so much more. Deserving to be admired for the people they are... from the history they came from, to the person they grew into, to the people they will become.....
I can hear your heart crying out for me (crying out for me)
I can hear your heart crying out for me
(And it keeps on saying) Come on in, come on in come on in and save
(And it keeps on saying) Come on in, come on in come on in and save
(I can baby) I can hear your heart crying out for me
Baby, I should've never caught feeling
But baby having late night conversion on your sofa
You telling me how he played you out over and over, over and over
But I'm stuck in the middle of seeing you hurt
I know when you love him
And you wanna make it work
And I can't help but think that I knew you first
It's getting louder
Girl I can't ignore it no more baby
I can hear your heart crying out for me (crying out for me)
I can hear your heart (oh yeah) crying out for me
(And girl it's saying)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save (Save me)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save (oh oh oh)
I can hear your heart (I can hear it yeah) crying out for me
Girl it's crying it's crying
I don't wanna confuse things (no)
But I just can't keep lying to myself
When you're holding me (when you're holding me)
I can feel your pain oh baby let me be your dream
I'm the answer come see me (see me)
And u don't have to cry no more (u don't have to cry)
Girl I can hear your heart baby
I can hear your heart
Girl it's crying
Won't you listen to your heart, baby
I can hear your heart crying out for me (girl it's crying out for me)
I can hear your heart crying out for me
(And it's saying)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save (Save me)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save
I can hear your heart crying out for me
Girl I can hear, hear it cry for me, for me, for me, for me
Ladies wave your hands in the air
Ladies wave your hands in the air
Oh baby
It's crying for me
It's crying for me for me
You keep on going in circles girl you're trying to find your way out
But its time I put on my cape and
Put that s on my chest
Girl I wanna come and save you
To all the fellaz that have survived this post so far, have u ever been put in the position that this first verse describes, unfortunately it happens alot more common then we would like ay? although chances are the situation will always be like that... note that if ever u come across someone like that in the verse, fight for em, not bcoz of u but because they also deserve to be fought for. a massive fight for these girls is what they may truly need deep down even if they dont realise it....
But I'm stick in the middle of seeing you hurt
I know when you love him
And you wanna make it up
And I can't help but think that I known you first
It's getting louder
Can't ignore any longer
.......................................................... i feel helpless for those that do not want to be helped, even if they do wana be helped they are too selfless to act upon it for themselves, these people deserve so much more. Deserving to be admired for the people they are... from the history they came from, to the person they grew into, to the people they will become.....
I can hear your heart crying out for me (crying out for me)
I can hear your heart crying out for me
(And it keeps on saying) Come on in, come on in come on in and save
(And it keeps on saying) Come on in, come on in come on in and save
(I can baby) I can hear your heart crying out for me
Baby, I should've never caught feeling
But baby having late night conversion on your sofa
You telling me how he played you out over and over, over and over
But I'm stuck in the middle of seeing you hurt
I know when you love him
And you wanna make it work
And I can't help but think that I knew you first
It's getting louder
Girl I can't ignore it no more baby
I can hear your heart crying out for me (crying out for me)
I can hear your heart (oh yeah) crying out for me
(And girl it's saying)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save (Save me)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save (oh oh oh)
I can hear your heart (I can hear it yeah) crying out for me
Girl it's crying it's crying
I don't wanna confuse things (no)
But I just can't keep lying to myself
When you're holding me (when you're holding me)
I can feel your pain oh baby let me be your dream
I'm the answer come see me (see me)
And u don't have to cry no more (u don't have to cry)
Girl I can hear your heart baby
I can hear your heart
Girl it's crying
Won't you listen to your heart, baby
I can hear your heart crying out for me (girl it's crying out for me)
I can hear your heart crying out for me
(And it's saying)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save (Save me)
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save
I can hear your heart crying out for me
Girl I can hear, hear it cry for me, for me, for me, for me
Ladies wave your hands in the air
Ladies wave your hands in the air
Oh baby
It's crying for me
It's crying for me for me
i didnt write much for the song.. it describes perfectly the type of situation a guy in that position will experience when they see a girl tryna 'make it work'. no need for me to elaborate.... that and i doubt many people would have mAde it this far down the page already.... at the end of the day i guess this is just me venting and u know? i think its finally started to work... even if there is so much more i wana say
crying out for me.... its what it is....if you were to trust me everything will be fine
>>controversy, good, bad, greatness, weakness, whats right, whats wrong, what you want, what you need, staying true to yourself, voicing out raw thoughts, trusting that third party, knowing them, connection & chemistry... unbelievable connection & chemistry....hope, sacrifice, persistence, chances, fights, impact, importance, influence, friendship, foundation, greatness, potential, different worlds, unexplained actions, breaks, re established contact, realisations, pillars, injokes, hours of conversation, market city, hyde park, fountains, strolls inda park, circular quay, harbour bridge, the rocks, ring, daGgy, snowman, pumphouse, gossip, captured moments, non-captured moments, impulsed based reactions, seduction, passion, loyalty, respect, understanding, patience, friends, family, family parties, guitars, chasing, introductions, effort, frustration, helplessness, catch 22, situations, phone calls, passes a month, pets, city, hanging out, late night text.... everynight, holding back, hug, warmth, rain, music, dance and finally...happiness
what exactly do u have with him... i really don't know or understand, and pardon my naivety... but realise that all of the above we built together in a matter of a few months..... all whilst trying to heavily hold back... so now i gota tone some of this down a little and to let go of the rest.... this is quiet a list and its gona be a touGhie to sort out... and for the record if there was any glimmer of hope in you to do something for us to happen... you should of done something about it, to make it work the way you were crying for me deep inside. i know ill look back and regret.... regret how i didnt fight hard enough for you and i to end up the way i believe it should have been... so even though this post is all about "you"...realise now if you cant fight the way i have for a potential us than this is the end of our story
but dont worry ill still be around the place as promised
to ya'll out there dont bother asking me about this post... make comments yeah but chances are i wont talk about what i said in here... and i mean it for everYone... though... "you" are the exception as it always has been.
its currently 5.00am
the sun is about rise....
gotta love these venting sessions,
C
>>controversy, good, bad, greatness, weakness, whats right, whats wrong, what you want, what you need, staying true to yourself, voicing out raw thoughts, trusting that third party, knowing them, connection & chemistry... unbelievable connection & chemistry....hope, sacrifice, persistence, chances, fights, impact, importance, influence, friendship, foundation, greatness, potential, different worlds, unexplained actions, breaks, re established contact, realisations, pillars, injokes, hours of conversation, market city, hyde park, fountains, strolls inda park, circular quay, harbour bridge, the rocks, ring, daGgy, snowman, pumphouse, gossip, captured moments, non-captured moments, impulsed based reactions, seduction, passion, loyalty, respect, understanding, patience, friends, family, family parties, guitars, chasing, introductions, effort, frustration, helplessness, catch 22, situations, phone calls, passes a month, pets, city, hanging out, late night text.... everynight, holding back, hug, warmth, rain, music, dance and finally...happiness
what exactly do u have with him... i really don't know or understand, and pardon my naivety... but realise that all of the above we built together in a matter of a few months..... all whilst trying to heavily hold back... so now i gota tone some of this down a little and to let go of the rest.... this is quiet a list and its gona be a touGhie to sort out... and for the record if there was any glimmer of hope in you to do something for us to happen... you should of done something about it, to make it work the way you were crying for me deep inside. i know ill look back and regret.... regret how i didnt fight hard enough for you and i to end up the way i believe it should have been... so even though this post is all about "you"...realise now if you cant fight the way i have for a potential us than this is the end of our story
but dont worry ill still be around the place as promised
to ya'll out there dont bother asking me about this post... make comments yeah but chances are i wont talk about what i said in here... and i mean it for everYone... though... "you" are the exception as it always has been.
its currently 5.00am
the sun is about rise....
gotta love these venting sessions,
C
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
Escape into the Whiteness
in july '08 sometime - myself, and 3 boys from work at G.U planned a trip to Perisher for a few days of intense snowboarding.. and dayum wassit intense! my butt cheeks were throbbing by the end of it haha
Day 1 - The Mighty Treck, Tuesday
day 1 actually started the night before at laser skirmish, darling harbour at around 8.30pm or so with the rest of the G.U crew. I went to the place expecting it to be pretty shit considering id already been to paintball twice, thought of it as some sort of downgrade, think about it from paintballs that'll give you lifetime scars.... to lights .... lol ... however to my surprise laser skirmish was pretty damn fun! - soaked in sweat - but fun! there was constant running and i annihilated both rounds coming first! hahaha props to meeeee!. after the second game we played a game of bowling and i sucked shit at it ..felt even more useless evn more coz half the people playing were already drunk or tipsy .. tsk tsk. it was quiet a messy night overrall with some interesting drunken conversations held... they were VERY interesting just to point that out.... By midnight us azn boys (the ones going on the trip) found ourselves at the local internet cafe playing hero siege, and yes we were so sad do to that but i thought it was pretty damn funny... net cafe in the middle of the night haha... we took about 2 hours there and after getting food we were finally on the road heading out of town....... current time was around 3.30am.. James was the man behind the wheel majority of time with laurens subbing in for abit of the journey, it was sucha freakn long drive ay? but evn then none of us boiz could get some decent sleep, we got around 1.5 hours worth of power naps all up during the drive. most notable thing to mention during the drive was getting lost at canberra for a good two hours or so.. other than that i was getting more and more geed to see some damn snow seeing as though ive never seen some before ! at 12pm-ish we finally arrived at the town we were stayin at called Jyndabyne... and what a hole that place was lol... thankfully our lodge wasnt so bad.. 3 bedrooms, 2 with a queen size bed in each and the 3rd room with 4 bunk beds.... i shottied one of the queen size beds obviously. Know why i was disappointed at this stage though? I STILL HADNT SEEN ANY DAMN SNOW! grr.... after trying on sizes and all of that crap i finally got this sxc az black/red board with this nice pic of a diablo like fella.... accompanied with some mega big boots with trackies/jacket/goggle to match.. oh yea i also bought this thermal gear AKA tights! haha they felt so weird ! just thought i drop that in somewhere...... anyway once we had our gear together we went straight to Smiggin Holes at Perisher and got in some attempted snowboarding down in the flat-ish area... and guess what? WE FAILED haha it was 3pm-ish and for the nxt 2 hours we looked liked a group of 20 yr old jackasses... on our asses (or arses* for you out there that are real anal about being correct =D SMILE! haha ) .we really needed a lessen. at about 5pm some snow started to fall and everyone left the premises so we decided to as well.... headed back home to drop the boards off then straight into town to stock up on supplies haha know why this place was a hole? ALL THE YOUNGENS WERE THERE HANGING AT WOOLWORTHS.... wat da hell man haha.. it was like.. woolworthz was the shizzay for everyone to be at. =S... meh wateva we got in, got our shit together.. and went home... we payed of course =]. wateva happened in the nxt few ours of getting home was all just a massive blur to me i think theres a pic of me on facebook inda process of conking out on the couch... wateva it is the only thing i remember is EVERYONE was K.O'd by 9pm... and we stayed down haha
at last it was the end of day 1...
Day Two - The Essentials, Wednesday
Day two started at 9.30 inda morning or something and we got some quick breaky then lazed about for an hour or so lol wateva it was we headed to Perisher for a board lessen but ended up catching a shuttle bus back to Smiggin Holes for an almost missed start to a much needed lessen at 12.30pm.. it was definitely what we needed coz by the end of it about 2 hours later we could actually MOVE the board down a slope and actually STOP using our feet instead of our butts.. ah the joy ! we used the j bar lift for the remainder of the afternoon and got in some good mileage down from the top of the hill... afterwards we shuttled it back got the car went to woolies again, bought wateva and went home to enjoy the rest of the night watching some videos on james ipod, poker and some hot dogs for dinner.. haha
.. lights out for everyone at about 1am
end of day 2
Day Three - Taking a Dump..... Thursday
At this stage into the trip the amount of snow in the resorts surrounding the mountains was somewhat lacking but this day turned things around, we woke up inda morning gazed outside and saw massive storm clouds hanging above the snowie mountains, switched on the tele to find out that there was an expected blizzard during that day early arvo, so we all decided to do kill time and home instead and hoped that it would actually snow.. sometime inda arvo i fell asleep.. waking up to laurens pointing out that it was snowing right outside our lodge.. haha what a dump of snow it must of been at the resorts.. those snow clouds reached all the way out to jyndabyne ! we were suddenly geed again and prayed the blizzard would have stopped by the nxt day.. we waited out the rest of the day.. AGAIN visitin woolies.. i think we bought a blender this time round? lol so random but i was serzly inda mood for making some frappiatos - whats that u say ? its gods gift to us mortals... for the rest u already know buying a new blender is worth it! haha..... no fraps were made that night however =P.. more movies, more junk food, more hot dogs and lights out again just before 12 or something
end of day three
Day Four - Powdery Snow, Storm Clouds, Wicked Winds, taking level 2 lessen amidst all that..... Friday
By friday all of us boys were geed up to hit the slopes again and we certainly did when we got the chance, we started off by taking our level 2 class.. we learnt how to do an "S" turn when we were coming down a hill which gave us control of the board instead of flying down the slopes with only prayers going through our minds. We rocked up to smiggins hole once again at around 11am to get in round 1.5hours of practice before our class at 12.30.. class ended at around 3pm and we continued our countless runs down the slope and back up again. This day was so hectic to be out on the slopes as the blizzard was still semi around the place, winds below 0 degrees were constantly blowing throughout the whole day and i was having trouble getting out of soft snow i decided to stack it on top of. Unfortunately this day could of been better for everyone as a couple of boys bindings decided to freeze up.. so the straps wouldnt stay on for one of the boots... DAMN RENTAL EQUIPMENT... after about 6 hours of snowboarding we all called it a day and proceeded to this cafe that sold real nice Ice chocolates.. hmmm.. obviously since we were in town we headed into woolworths (i think im starting to get why its the place to hangout now as i keep typing this entry) to buy frapiatto ingredients and wateva else it was... fraps are the most important thing just so u know. we had another night of junk food, movies, so on and so forth it was pretty much the same story.. hmm i think this is when i discovered Wilson shedding his pubes on the bathroom floor.... hmmm other then that the first sort of dnm started with wilson in the lounge area but i was pretty tired and conked out soon afterwards newai
Day Five - The fucked up body and the back country.... Saturday
I woke up inda morning to find james in my face... or was that friday morning? i cant remember!, newai this was a perfect day to snowboard, sun was out, snow from the previous dump was still relatively fresh, wind had died down and we finally got to explore alil bit of area OUTSIDE of smiggins hole. our actual plan was to travel from Smiggins to perisher by snowboarding it all the way to the place via lifts and all of the jazz.. it was a great day, we had many runs down the hill and at one point we chilled at the top of one of the T Bar Lifts at the place. the view was amazing and we took many photos with phones and cameras. You could see the valleys and mountains where it would transition from snow to grassy land - with other distant blue mountains in the distance.. damn it was a great spot to be at, i broke my want to keep sydney out of mind for the trip and tried callin' someone to share the moment with.. but they never answered ... ahhh REJECTED! hahahahaha! it was about mid arvo at this stage so we decided to hurry along before all of the lifts closed.. and u know what? we got to the last stretch of land we had to cover before the last lift... then about 50metres away the dude running it decided to say it was closed.. mothafocker saw us coming but stil closed it.. its coz we azn ay?? anyway that pissed us off coz then we had to WALK the remaining distance to perisher ... we were inda middle of a valley so that walk was abit too much.. either way we accomplished a few things that day so all was not so bad..
oh yes my body was aching from the friday the day before since we went hardout.. anyone wana give me a massage im still needing it right now! same old story wen we got to perisher... we never actually got to snowboard AT perisher! haha... once we got home i made the fraps as usual, chilled and did some cleaning before heading to bed.
end of day 5
Day Six - Near Death Experience.... Twice, Sunday
After an eventful week it was finally time to checkout and head back to civilisation, after making some lastminute friends with the azn neighbours and some lastminute gold class style - house cleaning we decided to head up the mountain one last time to check out another of the sites... dun dun dunnnnnn it was mistake
... There is this place called Guthega behind one of the mountains at perisher where hardly neone visits, the road to it was long and windy and took about 30mins to get to the lodge but the view was spectacular... the edge of the road lead to a pretty steep drop into the valleys below so that was an interesting thing to keep in mind. anyway 20min of the journey had normal roads whilst the last 10min had roads covered in snow and ice..... hmm.... can u get the idea of where our near death experience is now???.... on the way back from Guthega the dirt track that led back onto the main road some 30min away were on a decline.. we were all happily minding our own business when all of a sudden the car seemed to start drifting down the mountain pass - our car decided to take away any control we had and it started to slide down the icy road slowly facing side on. to put some perspective on this situation just remember these roads were very windy and the only thing over the edge of road was a steep drop into the valley below... we continued drift on the iced up path for about another 20 metres wen it decided to slide towards the edge of the path......*FUCK*is wat was on most of our minds... the ONLY thing that prevented us from a sure death was a snow wall about a metre high passively built up by the works of a snow plough machine pushing snow off the main track... we were lucky in every way possible i tell u. had the snow been any softer we would of just went right through it... it shook every one up and james the man driving naturally drove alot slower... but u know what? it happened again about a few hundred metres down the track.. this time we headed front on into the snow wall... wtf man... we must be blessed i say... we were travelling at 20kms down that road and it still made the car slide.... ahhh thankfully im able to be here right now to type it all!!.. after a real nervous ride towards the PROPER path we were
back onto the road heading home and also what was to be the birth of our "tribute" video clip (which is found on my facebook account.... if ur bothered enough of course... ) unlike our mini mountain adventure earlier inda the day the travel back home was typical, alot of kareoke style singing going on, pokemon, and the constant wondering of whether or not "we are there yet" ...
back onda road to civilisation
**** Heres some interesting things i couldnt be bothered slotting into my little story
-- I started and almost finished Pokemon Diamond Version during the trip with Laurens' DS
-- James Drank about a quarter of a 3L bottle of milk on the same night we bought it
-- I had the joy of drinking most of the frappiattos
-- My best stack job involved an intial faceplant, 4 consecutive rolls after with whiplash for some good measure
-- James Smelt my foot while he was asleep
-- I drew half a moustache and 3 freckles on wilsons face the night before we left back home
-- Wearing Thermals which are basically tights was a very new and interesting experience
-- There was a massive asian influx during the weekend
-- We never got to build a snowman
-- I bought a sxc azz blue hat and jacket
-- Wilson' pubes were shedding... thought id mention that again
-- of about 10 movies we watched, we only started and finished about 3 of them
-- Lauren' didnt take me serzly when i told him to not let him get a hold of his nintendo ds lol
-- i realised snow is something you could make halo-halo out of
-- hmm ill add more as i think of it
and guess what guys??
That was the end of the trip!
damn
C
Day 1 - The Mighty Treck, Tuesday
day 1 actually started the night before at laser skirmish, darling harbour at around 8.30pm or so with the rest of the G.U crew. I went to the place expecting it to be pretty shit considering id already been to paintball twice, thought of it as some sort of downgrade, think about it from paintballs that'll give you lifetime scars.... to lights .... lol ... however to my surprise laser skirmish was pretty damn fun! - soaked in sweat - but fun! there was constant running and i annihilated both rounds coming first! hahaha props to meeeee!. after the second game we played a game of bowling and i sucked shit at it ..felt even more useless evn more coz half the people playing were already drunk or tipsy .. tsk tsk. it was quiet a messy night overrall with some interesting drunken conversations held... they were VERY interesting just to point that out.... By midnight us azn boys (the ones going on the trip) found ourselves at the local internet cafe playing hero siege, and yes we were so sad do to that but i thought it was pretty damn funny... net cafe in the middle of the night haha... we took about 2 hours there and after getting food we were finally on the road heading out of town....... current time was around 3.30am.. James was the man behind the wheel majority of time with laurens subbing in for abit of the journey, it was sucha freakn long drive ay? but evn then none of us boiz could get some decent sleep, we got around 1.5 hours worth of power naps all up during the drive. most notable thing to mention during the drive was getting lost at canberra for a good two hours or so.. other than that i was getting more and more geed to see some damn snow seeing as though ive never seen some before ! at 12pm-ish we finally arrived at the town we were stayin at called Jyndabyne... and what a hole that place was lol... thankfully our lodge wasnt so bad.. 3 bedrooms, 2 with a queen size bed in each and the 3rd room with 4 bunk beds.... i shottied one of the queen size beds obviously. Know why i was disappointed at this stage though? I STILL HADNT SEEN ANY DAMN SNOW! grr.... after trying on sizes and all of that crap i finally got this sxc az black/red board with this nice pic of a diablo like fella.... accompanied with some mega big boots with trackies/jacket/goggle to match.. oh yea i also bought this thermal gear AKA tights! haha they felt so weird ! just thought i drop that in somewhere...... anyway once we had our gear together we went straight to Smiggin Holes at Perisher and got in some attempted snowboarding down in the flat-ish area... and guess what? WE FAILED haha it was 3pm-ish and for the nxt 2 hours we looked liked a group of 20 yr old jackasses... on our asses (or arses* for you out there that are real anal about being correct =D SMILE! haha ) .we really needed a lessen. at about 5pm some snow started to fall and everyone left the premises so we decided to as well.... headed back home to drop the boards off then straight into town to stock up on supplies haha know why this place was a hole? ALL THE YOUNGENS WERE THERE HANGING AT WOOLWORTHS.... wat da hell man haha.. it was like.. woolworthz was the shizzay for everyone to be at. =S... meh wateva we got in, got our shit together.. and went home... we payed of course =]. wateva happened in the nxt few ours of getting home was all just a massive blur to me i think theres a pic of me on facebook inda process of conking out on the couch... wateva it is the only thing i remember is EVERYONE was K.O'd by 9pm... and we stayed down haha
at last it was the end of day 1...
Day Two - The Essentials, Wednesday
Day two started at 9.30 inda morning or something and we got some quick breaky then lazed about for an hour or so lol wateva it was we headed to Perisher for a board lessen but ended up catching a shuttle bus back to Smiggin Holes for an almost missed start to a much needed lessen at 12.30pm.. it was definitely what we needed coz by the end of it about 2 hours later we could actually MOVE the board down a slope and actually STOP using our feet instead of our butts.. ah the joy ! we used the j bar lift for the remainder of the afternoon and got in some good mileage down from the top of the hill... afterwards we shuttled it back got the car went to woolies again, bought wateva and went home to enjoy the rest of the night watching some videos on james ipod, poker and some hot dogs for dinner.. haha
.. lights out for everyone at about 1am
end of day 2
Day Three - Taking a Dump..... Thursday
At this stage into the trip the amount of snow in the resorts surrounding the mountains was somewhat lacking but this day turned things around, we woke up inda morning gazed outside and saw massive storm clouds hanging above the snowie mountains, switched on the tele to find out that there was an expected blizzard during that day early arvo, so we all decided to do kill time and home instead and hoped that it would actually snow.. sometime inda arvo i fell asleep.. waking up to laurens pointing out that it was snowing right outside our lodge.. haha what a dump of snow it must of been at the resorts.. those snow clouds reached all the way out to jyndabyne ! we were suddenly geed again and prayed the blizzard would have stopped by the nxt day.. we waited out the rest of the day.. AGAIN visitin woolies.. i think we bought a blender this time round? lol so random but i was serzly inda mood for making some frappiatos - whats that u say ? its gods gift to us mortals... for the rest u already know buying a new blender is worth it! haha..... no fraps were made that night however =P.. more movies, more junk food, more hot dogs and lights out again just before 12 or something
end of day three
Day Four - Powdery Snow, Storm Clouds, Wicked Winds, taking level 2 lessen amidst all that..... Friday
By friday all of us boys were geed up to hit the slopes again and we certainly did when we got the chance, we started off by taking our level 2 class.. we learnt how to do an "S" turn when we were coming down a hill which gave us control of the board instead of flying down the slopes with only prayers going through our minds. We rocked up to smiggins hole once again at around 11am to get in round 1.5hours of practice before our class at 12.30.. class ended at around 3pm and we continued our countless runs down the slope and back up again. This day was so hectic to be out on the slopes as the blizzard was still semi around the place, winds below 0 degrees were constantly blowing throughout the whole day and i was having trouble getting out of soft snow i decided to stack it on top of. Unfortunately this day could of been better for everyone as a couple of boys bindings decided to freeze up.. so the straps wouldnt stay on for one of the boots... DAMN RENTAL EQUIPMENT... after about 6 hours of snowboarding we all called it a day and proceeded to this cafe that sold real nice Ice chocolates.. hmmm.. obviously since we were in town we headed into woolworths (i think im starting to get why its the place to hangout now as i keep typing this entry) to buy frapiatto ingredients and wateva else it was... fraps are the most important thing just so u know. we had another night of junk food, movies, so on and so forth it was pretty much the same story.. hmm i think this is when i discovered Wilson shedding his pubes on the bathroom floor.... hmmm other then that the first sort of dnm started with wilson in the lounge area but i was pretty tired and conked out soon afterwards newai
Day Five - The fucked up body and the back country.... Saturday
I woke up inda morning to find james in my face... or was that friday morning? i cant remember!, newai this was a perfect day to snowboard, sun was out, snow from the previous dump was still relatively fresh, wind had died down and we finally got to explore alil bit of area OUTSIDE of smiggins hole. our actual plan was to travel from Smiggins to perisher by snowboarding it all the way to the place via lifts and all of the jazz.. it was a great day, we had many runs down the hill and at one point we chilled at the top of one of the T Bar Lifts at the place. the view was amazing and we took many photos with phones and cameras. You could see the valleys and mountains where it would transition from snow to grassy land - with other distant blue mountains in the distance.. damn it was a great spot to be at, i broke my want to keep sydney out of mind for the trip and tried callin' someone to share the moment with.. but they never answered ... ahhh REJECTED! hahahahaha! it was about mid arvo at this stage so we decided to hurry along before all of the lifts closed.. and u know what? we got to the last stretch of land we had to cover before the last lift... then about 50metres away the dude running it decided to say it was closed.. mothafocker saw us coming but stil closed it.. its coz we azn ay?? anyway that pissed us off coz then we had to WALK the remaining distance to perisher ... we were inda middle of a valley so that walk was abit too much.. either way we accomplished a few things that day so all was not so bad..
oh yes my body was aching from the friday the day before since we went hardout.. anyone wana give me a massage im still needing it right now! same old story wen we got to perisher... we never actually got to snowboard AT perisher! haha... once we got home i made the fraps as usual, chilled and did some cleaning before heading to bed.
end of day 5
Day Six - Near Death Experience.... Twice, Sunday
After an eventful week it was finally time to checkout and head back to civilisation, after making some lastminute friends with the azn neighbours and some lastminute gold class style - house cleaning we decided to head up the mountain one last time to check out another of the sites... dun dun dunnnnnn it was mistake
... There is this place called Guthega behind one of the mountains at perisher where hardly neone visits, the road to it was long and windy and took about 30mins to get to the lodge but the view was spectacular... the edge of the road lead to a pretty steep drop into the valleys below so that was an interesting thing to keep in mind. anyway 20min of the journey had normal roads whilst the last 10min had roads covered in snow and ice..... hmm.... can u get the idea of where our near death experience is now???.... on the way back from Guthega the dirt track that led back onto the main road some 30min away were on a decline.. we were all happily minding our own business when all of a sudden the car seemed to start drifting down the mountain pass - our car decided to take away any control we had and it started to slide down the icy road slowly facing side on. to put some perspective on this situation just remember these roads were very windy and the only thing over the edge of road was a steep drop into the valley below... we continued drift on the iced up path for about another 20 metres wen it decided to slide towards the edge of the path......*FUCK*is wat was on most of our minds... the ONLY thing that prevented us from a sure death was a snow wall about a metre high passively built up by the works of a snow plough machine pushing snow off the main track... we were lucky in every way possible i tell u. had the snow been any softer we would of just went right through it... it shook every one up and james the man driving naturally drove alot slower... but u know what? it happened again about a few hundred metres down the track.. this time we headed front on into the snow wall... wtf man... we must be blessed i say... we were travelling at 20kms down that road and it still made the car slide.... ahhh thankfully im able to be here right now to type it all!!.. after a real nervous ride towards the PROPER path we were
back onto the road heading home and also what was to be the birth of our "tribute" video clip (which is found on my facebook account.... if ur bothered enough of course... ) unlike our mini mountain adventure earlier inda the day the travel back home was typical, alot of kareoke style singing going on, pokemon, and the constant wondering of whether or not "we are there yet" ...
back onda road to civilisation
**** Heres some interesting things i couldnt be bothered slotting into my little story
-- I started and almost finished Pokemon Diamond Version during the trip with Laurens' DS
-- James Drank about a quarter of a 3L bottle of milk on the same night we bought it
-- I had the joy of drinking most of the frappiattos
-- My best stack job involved an intial faceplant, 4 consecutive rolls after with whiplash for some good measure
-- James Smelt my foot while he was asleep
-- I drew half a moustache and 3 freckles on wilsons face the night before we left back home
-- Wearing Thermals which are basically tights was a very new and interesting experience
-- There was a massive asian influx during the weekend
-- We never got to build a snowman
-- I bought a sxc azz blue hat and jacket
-- Wilson' pubes were shedding... thought id mention that again
-- of about 10 movies we watched, we only started and finished about 3 of them
-- Lauren' didnt take me serzly when i told him to not let him get a hold of his nintendo ds lol
-- i realised snow is something you could make halo-halo out of
-- hmm ill add more as i think of it
and guess what guys??
That was the end of the trip!
damn
C
Saturday, 5 July 2008
Food For Thought
never felt it for anyone but for those who tie me down by immediate-common blood
never said it to anyone I held for more than 1 minute within 30cm of my physical personal space
never have I gotten close to thinking about saying it at all to anyone else
never truly believed those special few when the time for confessing that word was at hand
never have had the privilege of ever being on the receiving end
never have had the satisfaction of giving it unconditionally
firstly my apologies to my imaginary readers, just read a fairly deep blog from one of the few blogs that I read so I guess it was kind of expected to see an entry of this type here.. actually knowing me this type of entry will kind of set the mood for the type of entries I put into this blog overall
..... So what are my thoughts on *that word*.... "LOVE" (dun dun dunnnnnnnn!!!!)
it makes me cringe... for a number of reasons
it is common knowledge that this word is forever- raped, screwed over, abused, confusing, ambiguous, differentiates in definition between individuals.... wait that ones a lie..... for the majority there is no definition. and there are all these other reasons; however Im sure u can already see the picture
I dunno how to explain it. Im always skeptical each and every time I hear that word said to another person just because I always seem to see past the words and actions. I have this really annoying habit of reading and observing constantly and what opinion it forms out of the images I paint with those observations aint so lovey dovey as it is made out to be... and u know what? I am unfortunately correct almost every single time. For the record before u judge me take this into account I speak from experience earned and not knowledge taught to me. Got a problem? Than what the hell are u doing having read this far?
.. anyway..
Heres a question to those that say u love your current partners no matter how old u are. Why do u love the person u say u love? What reason? What can u see? Are there any logical reasons why you do what you do that you just chose to cover up with that word love? Do you give a fuck about em really? I mean do you give a fuck about HIM or HER as a "complete person" really?!?! ... or are there specific attributes/characteristics and traits that make your chest go ladidadada? Does it feel right to be with them taking into account
keep it real with yourself and allow true feelings at its absolute raw-rest form to manifest itself in your daily life, with this - YOU WILL move mountains. or the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction brought about from the outcome will be of the exact or greater equivalent.
hell... I shoulda just said moving mountains in the heartsy-metaphorical sense.. but who gives a rats ass!
moving right along to some seemingly interesting and in some cases confronting questions.... but u actually have to TRY and relate it ok ? good!
*Buying gifts for your girl to keep her happy aint love
- that’s called a gold digger
*Getting forced to drive around cause your girl feels like you aint being a man without ur license aint love
- that’s a lie-ing betch that only really strives for control over you with her punani whip
*Fuck a girl that says "I love you" within 45mins of contact at first sight
- that’s a girl tryna get a green card to Australia
*Having your girl say I love you after sex aint love
- a kiss and a hug means so MUCH more
*Girls who throw themselves at you after drooling for so long aint love
- that’s a shallow/simple minded person heavily infatuated with the way you dance
* A girl that calls every second of the day wanting to give you attention and know what you are up to aint a girl acting out her love for you
- she’s a psychotic individual in need of CONSTANT attention and looking-after... and to those decent girls out there* I don’t mean you, this is the typa person who will get pissed off at you if you don’t inform her of what consistency your urine is when we go to the toilet, sound unrealistic ? THAT’S WHAT A PSYCHOTIC GIRL IS
..... hmmmm..... how am I going? heres a few more....
* The inability to leave the person you're with when you're heart isn’t all there aint love
- its a major flaw in never ever being able to put yourself first during the times when YOU need to the most
* Saying I love you to the person you've been with like none-other thus far doesn’t necessarily mean love
- that’s a fallable and FORCED attachment you've made yourself have.. That’s an attachment you give urself through voluntary thinking and reasoning, not because your emotions made you blurt it out accidentally.
* sad to say but dedicating yourself 110% mind and soul doesn’t mean that you'll be getting it back
- it means that there is someone else out there with the desire to give you themselves unconditionally
* cheating on your man or girl emotionally or physically is still cheating
- I definitely believe these people are not in love. however... that third party that decided to leave their mark emotionally in that taken persons world would more or less have presented something more happier, more ideal, and importantly more FULFILLING
....*thinking*
This whole idea of love to me is pretty vague but given enough vagues is actually quiet specific and can give some sort of definition. so lemme try..
I will never say I love you to the girl special in the life till I decide that the girl standing at the altar is the one I would consider on the level of "family", family above all...basically the one id give my life for. profound and deep you say ? Im sure real love will give you every emotion there is to experience in the world once u have it within your grasp. True love exists but only a rare few ever experience this, as a friend once pointed out to me. These individuals are the reason why the saying "love at first sight" exists, the reason why there is general belief that TRUE "love conquers all" and all of that other cliché garbage that the rest of us all use to get into the others pants... well I think id be crossing the line by saying that so I take it back. but I wont delete this line? anyway. For the majority, love is the sugar coated disguise that we place on the real raw emotion that we feel that aint as accepted by the public .. confused? love for the rest of us generally means infatuation or a real deep attractedness... and for the naive few love to them is just cause they've been with their partner for so damn long that they are "just used to it"... I mean... how often do you witness couples that have been together for so long who constantly express their "love" for each other in every physical and emotional form - only to break up several years down the track? perfect example. I have never personally been in a relationship longer than 3 months.. (without a break up) or 2 months and 29 days to be exact... but from what I can deduce alot of the time, couples that have been together for more than 5 years are scared to break up with each other for fear of 40-year old virgin syndrome.. well chances are they aren’t virgins but the fact that it may be "too late" to find another partner- a fear keeping them together... ahh u know what I mean !
"Love is this,
Love is that,
When you realise a potential chance for this,
Chase, pursue, fight! and cut out all of the other crap !"
_C
End of the mighty random rant ... for tonight
peace.
C
ps. I wana add one thing... Take note of this carefully, the moment you take a cliché look at a person while they mention how "great" a person you are with the genuine eyes to match take a look inside yourself.... and if you feel like saying something along the same lines back then guess what? put yourself out on a limb, risk yourself, risk your conscience, don’t listen to anyone, do what you feel inside, fuck controversy...... let yourself hope and hang amidst IMPOSSIBLE odds and situations for a *potential* ideal ending.......
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
MIDAS
Events of the day:
- Trecked it olla the way to Macquarie Uni to check out and help out the new crew called "TWITCH" ... props for this crew of 3 guys and 3 girls to stepping up to plate and tryna take their thing to the competition level in a few months time !!..
... damn that place was a freakn treck to get to ..
jammed for the rest of the arvo and played space invaders in the uni library afterwards
... BBALL TNITE with team MIDAS... ahh fak we lost tnite... sa'll good and gravy but.. 3 - 1 is the count thus far...
tnites a good night
... tnites a good night...
Peace.
C
- Trecked it olla the way to Macquarie Uni to check out and help out the new crew called "TWITCH" ... props for this crew of 3 guys and 3 girls to stepping up to plate and tryna take their thing to the competition level in a few months time !!..
... damn that place was a freakn treck to get to ..
jammed for the rest of the arvo and played space invaders in the uni library afterwards
... BBALL TNITE with team MIDAS... ahh fak we lost tnite... sa'll good and gravy but.. 3 - 1 is the count thus far...
tnites a good night
... tnites a good night...
Peace.
C
Monday, 23 June 2008
Another 'typical day' with a nerdy bit of finesse
waddup ya'll...
woke up today at round 1pm thinking 'what the hell am i still doin in bed'... 1pm for goodness sake ive wasted half my day already? oh well duno about the rest of you out there... but remember those occasions on your way back home from an all nighter.. where you're tryna race back home before the sun rises but fail anyway? yeah thats the seedy feeling i felt when i woke up..
..... any way .....
want a scenario?
Guy fallin' for girl, girl is already taken
end of entry
C
woke up today at round 1pm thinking 'what the hell am i still doin in bed'... 1pm for goodness sake ive wasted half my day already? oh well duno about the rest of you out there... but remember those occasions on your way back home from an all nighter.. where you're tryna race back home before the sun rises but fail anyway? yeah thats the seedy feeling i felt when i woke up..
..... any way .....
my lil drama waking up kind of set the mood for the rest of the day... it just felt odd ? to avoid being so vague ill try and explain... (i guess my days have been quiet similiar as of late)
my mind hasnt been all there lately, and no i cant blame my never-ending activites 7 days a week. its somethin' more.. im not as focused, not as aware, not as alert ......
....... not as bothered as motivated to get shit done as i usually am... heck i wasnt even up for clubbing because i was tired??? ... thats a first !!! and here i am always going on about how i take every opportunity to dance whenever it presents itself... hm even good ol nicole cadizzzzz could tell at work tonight i havent been all myself lately... im right... shes right..*shrugs*
actually i have a pretty good idea of what it could be but not sure if nows a good time to be venting about it in such a (not-so) public place.
.... but heres a thought for everyone
>>> put yourself out on a limb, risk yourself, risk your conscience, dont listen to anyone, do what you feel inside, fuck controversy...... let yourself hope and hang amidst IMPOSSIBLE odds and situations for a *potential* ideal ending
want a scenario?
Guy fallin' for girl, girl is already taken
end of entry
C
ending song for the night: Joe I Wanna Know
Sunday, 22 June 2008
The 411
Names chris(TOPHER) chiapoco, no middle name and thats my full first name. you pronounce my surname *chee-ah-poh-ko*. I'm a rebel I'm straight I'm a abit of both. Fence sitter. I'm a virgo I'm a libran, i was born on the boundary of the two so i guess I'm both. Always in the greatest of moods. Contradicting myself at times, voicing out raw thoughts every other time. I’m a hip hop dancer, i auditioned for SYTYCD and didn't get in, so apparently i cant dance? thats hilarious!
Dance crews in the past include ENERJETIX back in highschool and GIGABEATZ which were apart of my 2007. Be dancing anywhere, anytime for any reason. I can say the same about sleeping. I drink alcohol and am a near perfect - straight - razor - blade. The last "illegal activity" i was involved in was back in year 3, i "borrowed" a pacer from woolworths.. that and in year 8 I bought playboy cards from a card shop with a mate and sold them with a 50% - 100% mark up for a profit... ended up saving a small fortune - in year8 highschool kid sense that is! good times...
I'm humble, respectable.. haha... Can be judged to be judgmental but i like to think of it as trying to suss someone out. Fulltime uni student, nursing at a university no one knows about. Respect to its fullest for as long as i can help. Don't bother crawling back when you’ve lost it. Work at a place that i'm rapidly getting over. Constantly mistaken for the being the business manager. Needs a nickname to sort that out. I like thrills and adrenaline in sport, risking one' self constantly, always testing beliefs and values. On edge, chin-up no matter how dire the situation... forever hopeful what ever the odds.... and just to get it out of the way i like girls. I'm blunt and love to talk, intentions are always genuwine, but it also means it comes with some controversial situations. Non-narcissistic but i am proud of myself and fully trust only myself. yep, been through alotta shit.
I'm this i'm that i'm so on and so forth i am who everyone knows as chris and more often then not "chrissy", but if you don't me that well and wanna call me sum'm.. heres a suggestion.. just call me 'C'.
peace.
C
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