Fish

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

So,

"When it rains, it pours" is what they say. The idea that everything can trod along perfectly fine, then have it hailed down upon by the heavens is such a cliche but truthful thought.

I met a girl... no wait thats wrong. I met a woman some half a year ago now (fancy how time flies...) by the looks of things at this current time - half a year of my life is all that I was given to take that opportunity and to make something lasting out of it... I wasn't able to this time round, but I'm sure faith will give me another go down the track..


Like this special woman, I'm just here doing my own thing, living and enjoying life the way that I know how. Till you came along.

I met a young woman. She's one of the most carefree, bubbly, loveable and open minded people I've ever met.. what really got to me was the fact that she saw the world in such a different light to everyone else that I know, she inspired me to want to achieve above and beyond what ever it was I had in mind before I had met her. I WANTed to travel the world cause of her, see different things and appreciate everything that little old Sydney doesn't have to offer. The way we could just stare and not say a word but still communicate everything we thought - whilst cuddled up on a cold overcast day hit many heart strings, she even had me on my toes as I carried out the boyfriend act infront of assface dudes as we walked the streets hand in hand.. the funny thought? I'm not the jealous type nor was I her official boyfriend to begin with... but she definitely is  my baby.. and now womans got me talking all mushy and cheesy shit...

For months the reocurring theme of her issues with moving and studying/travelling overseas constantly came up as soon as we got to that DNM conversation level.. and it was balls. Little did she know I was paying attention to her moods and thoughts 110% of the entire way I knew her even before I gave her that first kiss.. I tried to meet her in a mental place where we could agree and compromise - but she never got there in the end. (.. not yet! anyway) ... valentines day.. whatta fucken load of rubbish.

I got involved with an international student? I'm as realistic as they come and I knew what I was getting myself into.. still ... I would rather have explored the opportunity like I have. Now we both have fond memories to reminisce about when times get shitty...

She kept going on about right timing, faith and things happening... thats all good and sweet, and I understand you more than you think I do. At the same time though all those stayings be as cliche as anything... albeit. if you come across another dude whats stopping you from using all those excuses again? ...you're the fuckin best thing thats happened in recent times and I would rather have seen effort from both of us to even just try.. it almost sounded like you were making excuses to end things - something that really shits me is the fact she always compared me to the other 2 failed relos... but Im not them, why does it automatically mean that things will turn out like them? even if the relo were to crash and burn the most cutting of all of this is that you weren't willing to try in the first place

Against all odds and places in the world you could have been and place I could have been chilling at. We still happened. Isn't that faith enough... timing enough... rare opportunity enough?

I remember saying there was a quote I wrote long ago that reminded me of our situation.. and I found it, so here it is...

"Put yourself out on a limb, risk yourself, risk your conscience, don’t listen to anyone, do what you feel inside, fuck controversy...... let yourself hope and hang amidst IMPOSSIBLE odds and situations for a *potential* ideal ending.."

           14/2/11. I ain't scared and you shouldn't have to be too. Trust me.

Ima be waiting for that phone call... and I hope that call comes through

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