Been an eventful day. Spent some nice mother/brother/me time today while mum got her MRI done this morning. Went to the gym afterwards with brother chiapoco to smash out some arm workouts. As much as I hate it I think I'm starting to enjoy it once again. Spending time with the brother is always a good time anyway. Came back home mid arvo and plonked myself onto my chair... here I am hours later
I had a momentary light bulb moment today while I thought about who I should call out to hangout. It dawned on me suddenly - I'm a 27 year old bachelor. 27! for some reason I can really feel the jump between 26 to 27, more so in the last few weeks since one of my bestmates Master P went official with his mrs. I'm truly into my late 20s and a bite size 3 years away from 30. It's a slap to the mind every time I say it to myself. Rewinding back to 16 year old self of mine, I imagined that I'd be married by now well on the way to considering a family.... haha fuck that - anyway - that's where the bachelor part of the realisation comes in... not really a thought in relation to myself, but the resulting conclusion after observing my social circles.
Absolutely everyone (exaggeration) I know that's close close to my daily grind have entered some sort of relationship or caught up with the thought of one. GADDAMN, no one's happy being single. I can't even pass the time with any adventures since I'm quite bogged down with shitty repayments. I'm not saying that being in a relationship is a problem but I suppose the idea that my intentions don't align with taken peeps really bums me out, what can I do about it though? priorities really do inevitably change.
But I digress..
As always, I am happy being single, the freedom cannot be taken for granted! and I don't EVER have to deal with asking for "hall passes" from the other party which I've always thought was a real joke. I've got mates who are always at a collar and leash length away from their girlfriends. That's really messed up, what the story is behind closed doors? no idea. On the topic of women, an old flame of mine has been starting to reignite lately and I'm not quite sure how to take this. She's been a friend of mine since we were young. I met her one night out in town. I vividly remember her standing out from the rest amongst her own friends, pretty ricky in the background, her girls all looking me awkwardly as I swept right past them straight to you - extended hand out in invitation for a slow groove. It was the latter stage of the night and the slow jams were on cue. I collated the balls enough to at least ask for a dance and try acting like I was confident doing it, conjured up the ballz to just go in and ask for the number all the while trying to stop myself from having a nervous breakdown. In the times that followed I called her, not too often, not too far apart - just enough to forge a long term connection where she didn't feel threatened with my intensity, holding onto the idea of a chance that alas never happened. Since that time I've never forgotten to greet her in text a happy birthday even if contact was only limited to once a year - but she was able to firmly plant herself into a lasting place in my mind reserved only for a handful. Of course I never told her that. As of 2014 our social cliques coincidentally collided and I've found that I've been in regular enough contact with her once more. Rather than old memories flooding back I'm starting to appreciate the woman she is now. Just the other night we met up for a casual dinner/catch up and had such an honest conversation about life, friends and all that while she sipped on some tea and I with my frappe. Time past quite swiftly as we looked out to the busy city dwellers hustling by with deadlines in the eyes and destinations to be at seen in the stride. Time just past by while we chilled were in our own little world. It may be trivial to her or not, but instances like this make me fall all over again. However, in true deja vu one of my new found brothers happen to fall in awesome like for her - what do I do now I wonder? Do I try once more to pursue a cause I'm not even sure will ever be reciprocated back? or do I follow what I've always done and to let the bro code take place and let the whole thing slide. I wonder quite often. I wonder if you've ever thought any of these thoughts too. Contrary to the fact I thought I accepted, this chapter still remains to be written and closed some years nearing a decade later.
This year has been an emotional rollercoaster for me and close peeps. Some big things happened this year including the day our dear brother Raynor passed, he was punched at a house party out west, landed head first directly onto the concrete curb and never woke up from coma. It was a death that shocked the very core of the community with whom we shared so many friends with. Most importantly he was the little brother to the boys and I when we all discovered Hiphop and dance in highschool. A 21 year old champion of a person, dedicated boyfriend of many years to one, son to a pair of proud parents, and an ambitious soul who had just graduated university.
Big things in store for him up above so for now RIP Raynor, don't ever stop the boogie.
This year has also been an interesting one to say the least for a favourite couple of mine Jen and Luq. Invidually, they have had such big years and I hope my presence has helped them even in the slightest. Jens dad past away this year after succumbing to renal failure, unfortunately his queue on the transplant list didn't come soon enough, in an ironic and sometimes hard sort of way to understand - it was a good thing he past on. The suffering he would have had to endure further while alive sometimes make even the strongest souls question their existence. He never went through that and instead held his integrity as a father and husband together, a legacy worth leaving behind. I wish I'd properly hungout with him earlier and gotten to know him, but the stories I have from Jen are priceless in itself. Top bloke for raising top kids. Luqman is the first of any friend of mine to be diagnosed with cancer, discovered only after a casual GP checkup earlier in the year. What followed in terms of biopsies, surgery and waiting really isn't a place I want to find myself often in. As a Nurse, it really strikes you differently when the heart strings are involved.
Fortunately however, he was given the all clear without the need for chemo which was a MAJOR breath of relief (I'm in with the parents! haha).
Bless that he never has to ever go through that again. The worst I feel that these two peeps went through was that fact they weren't a couple when all this shit went down. For their own reasons they were single but they never lost the love to make sure the other was at least ok, Often channeled through me there were a couple of er er moments for myself being in the middle - but glad to say everyone involved were troopers and came out laughing. Luq never did waiver in caring for her even through it all - the face he had when Jen rocked up to Arthouse the night everything took a turn for the better was PRICELESS. Jen in all her mood swings that followed couldn't resist the fact she just felt as strongly back. Inpsirational to see from a single guys perspective that such love does excist. happy to see the couple back together once more forging an even path for themselves.. with Amy in close toe hehe
I just discovered that I owe 3k for my bachelor degree to the government + a 12k debt for the masters I attempted last year + 5k in credit card debt. Not the best place to be right now but I am certainly on the right path to get past this. I absolutely hate owing money and this has got to be the worst financial position I've found myself in. First sacrifice was to can Mt Everest trip scheduled for November as well as any other significant travel plans. For now I fish! Bringing it all back to the opening statements, 27 is a very interesting phase of life to be in - dad gave me one of his 'talks' and asked me in true daddy fashion what I plan on doing when it came to "women".. for the first time he agreed with my words of holding onto the next girl I meet that I care for instead of playing around... he didn't tell me to keep playing around! MINDBLOWN! but anyway
I can't exactly say this year has been the greatest, it certainly has had a fair share of downturns but also a few upturns. I'm no Viking believing in the wheel of fortune, nor am I Buddhist to believe in karma, but I certainly hope all the bad energy has been expelled this year leaving in place a hole to be filled with greater things to come.
Meanwhile I'll be me, I'll be straight and always keep a positive forward-thinking melon on my shoulders.
All in baby
peace.
Chiapoco
